"Oh, but darling, what if you fly?"

I get scared a lot. 

I'm never really sure what I'm doing; but I suppose that's normal, right? But no, my fears are crippling, like, my fear scares me. 

I like routine and stability and normalcy. I try to be great within the realms of my tested capacity, but if I'm honest, I'm a coward. Or maybe I just feel like one.

I say that to say, I did a brave thing recently. I'm taking a step that I always told myself I would, but a voice in me told me I'd never be brave enough to take. I almost didn't, too.

I'm petrified, but I'm also proud. 

I vouched for myself and for what I wanted. I stood up in a way that I wasn't sure I'd ever know how to. I spoke up, even if it meant that my voice was shaking (Maggie Kuhn).

I'm gonna go be brave again soon and I'm gonna be petrified then, too. But I can't afford to not be.

I've gotten a taste of this bravery, of this new girl who's decided what she deserves and her determination to get it and I like it a lot.

I'll still be scared and anxiety will fight me the way it always does, but that's fine. There's a new person at the table, and she will quell every irrational fear and allay any valid concerns. She will work with the anxiety instead of pretending it doesn't exist.

And she will fly. 

They'll fly together.



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